With love from Holly Stauffer...
Sean always made me laugh.
We talked a lot about Stanley and his issues.
And ate after meetings at Shakers.
Went trick or treating in the rain with some of my special ed students.
Did Bikram yoga which made him nauseous but he’d do it anyway.
And lie around in his room watch movies,
and talk some more.
About the idea that maybe for his thesis he would build a house.
But he built Ben’s house instead.
And stayed up all night sanding Ben to a perfectly smooth finish.
Sean gave my son his first glue gun.
And cried on my shoulder after a bad night with some ambien, whiskey and a girl.
And when I told him I was marrying Bob, he said he wanted to marry Bob too.
And every time I saw him, whether there was time to talk or not, I hugged him, and looked into his eyes and told him I loved him.
Because I did. More than anything.
And he always said, “I love you, too.”
I imagine Sean is amazed.
At the gathering of people here for him today.
Amazed at Jeff, Carrie, Olga and Brett for their courage, strength and dignity.
Amazed at the beauty of his mother and the grace of his brother,
and the outpouring of love from his friends.
Amazed at the amount of tears cried for him because he’s no longer here.
And the amount of smiles that appear every time we tell a, “one time Sean and I...” story.
And I am amazed at us.
Because of the death of this one man, the goodness has been brought out in many.
To survive we’ve circled, and reached out our hands, and grabbed the ones that began to drift away, and brought them into the center.
We huddled, and wrapped our arms around each other, and cried, made phone calls, and laughed,
and planned, and cried, denied, said goodbye, and took it back.
Then said goodbye again.
Holly Stauffer
August 26, 2005
We talked a lot about Stanley and his issues.
And ate after meetings at Shakers.
Went trick or treating in the rain with some of my special ed students.
Did Bikram yoga which made him nauseous but he’d do it anyway.
And lie around in his room watch movies,
and talk some more.
About the idea that maybe for his thesis he would build a house.
But he built Ben’s house instead.
And stayed up all night sanding Ben to a perfectly smooth finish.
Sean gave my son his first glue gun.
And cried on my shoulder after a bad night with some ambien, whiskey and a girl.
And when I told him I was marrying Bob, he said he wanted to marry Bob too.
And every time I saw him, whether there was time to talk or not, I hugged him, and looked into his eyes and told him I loved him.
Because I did. More than anything.
And he always said, “I love you, too.”
I imagine Sean is amazed.
At the gathering of people here for him today.
Amazed at Jeff, Carrie, Olga and Brett for their courage, strength and dignity.
Amazed at the beauty of his mother and the grace of his brother,
and the outpouring of love from his friends.
Amazed at the amount of tears cried for him because he’s no longer here.
And the amount of smiles that appear every time we tell a, “one time Sean and I...” story.
And I am amazed at us.
Because of the death of this one man, the goodness has been brought out in many.
To survive we’ve circled, and reached out our hands, and grabbed the ones that began to drift away, and brought them into the center.
We huddled, and wrapped our arms around each other, and cried, made phone calls, and laughed,
and planned, and cried, denied, said goodbye, and took it back.
Then said goodbye again.
Holly Stauffer
August 26, 2005
posted by GC at 8:18 AM
2 Comments:
how beautiful. i keep learning more and more about sean. thank you.
i've also been learning so much about him and i'd known him for several years. everyone one of his relationships were special and unique because he was a dedicated friend who was truly present. he always listened and offered the best of himself.
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